so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
it's great music for shaving your balls
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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