Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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