You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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