Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
