What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize