and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
