You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
