The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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