batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
