I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
