you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
