Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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