We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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