Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
