Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
it hurts more in the daytime
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
