dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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