She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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