I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
