And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
