There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
