I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
