Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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