I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
