There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think people are normalizing furries
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
