Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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