If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
