Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
