Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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