I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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