seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
