she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize