I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize