I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
