My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
