when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
