maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
