Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize