Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize