why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
