There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
