I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
