And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Green mimosas i think yes
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize