hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
