Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
