Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
