margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
