you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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