sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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