i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
