oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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