Betty ford says i'm here all night
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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