Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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