i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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