Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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