i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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