I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
