Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
