forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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