please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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