Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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