how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize