Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
